breakmychest | XLII--video;

Been a lot of talk around here about vampires lately. It's time I added my two cents.

[Spike is sitting on the arm of the chair in his room, looking pretty calm. He's thought a little bit about what to say, and... well, he probably won't say anything remotely like what he's got planned, so it's time to start talking.]

Now as a lot of you probably know, I'm a vampire. I've never hid it. Before you start hiding your young and locking your doors with garlic or whatever, you should know, I'm a warden, I'm a hero, and I don't eat people. [He pauses for a moment and frowns.] Also, garlic doesn't work on my sort of vampire, so, you know, waste of time.

But what I am now doesn't change what I've done, and it doesn't change what a vampire is. There's a reason legends paint us as blood sucking monsters. [He shifts his features, letting his fangs slide out and his forehead wrinkle up. He's a lot less pretty this way.] Now, of course, I know the sort of vampire from my world best, and I'm sure there's some dimension where the vampires are sparkly lightweights that only drink dewdrops, but that's the exception. In most dimensions, you'd be hard pressed to find a vampire that hasn't killed before. I've killed before. Never hid that either. Probably killed more than most of the inmates here, seeing as I had over a century to do it. [He shakes his head, human features coming back to the front.]

That's not who I am anymore. Certain girl made me see the world a bit differently. That's a long story that I'm not getting into now, but I went from one of the worst to one of the best. Really, one of only two good ones. [A beat. Spike can't help but be competitive about Angel.] And for the record, I'm loads better than he is. And unlike him I chose this. He was cursed!

So why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Sodding Dracula, probably. Point I'm trying to make is that thinking vampires are evil killers isn't really being bigoted or anything, but like anyone here, they can change. If they want it hard enough. And, of course, they have to acknowledge what they are as well.

[He shrugs and smirks, looking all too pleased with himself.] Then again, maybe not. After all, I am really bloody special.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In your universe, does Gotham city exist?

Nope. Neither does Batman.

Then you fail the Gotham test and as such, you come from a different universe.

Yeah, obviously. So how do you expect me to say what universe I'm from? There aren't any official designations that I know of.

Sadly. You think that the people who know more about this sort of thing would have created terminology for it.

Guess they're probably all busy arguing over who gets to be universe number one.

That seems likely. No one wants to find out that they're universes towards the end of the scale.

Humans have far too much ego to ever accept something like that.

It's true. There would probably be wars over it.

Yeah. It'd get messy, and not in the fun way.

There's a 'fun way' in war?

No. I suppose not.

[Once upon a time, he'd have thought differently.]

Most people think that. Based on my experience, I'm inclined to agree.

Edited 2011-07-04 14:07 (UTC)

Been in a lot of wars, have you?

Only the war between the Batman and the rest of humanity.

That's... really not the same sort of war.

It's not. It's the type of war you can end with one well placed bullet.

...you really think you'll kill Batman with a bullet?

Why not? I set him on fire and that seemed to almost work.

The key word here being "almost."

Quite. The barge prevents me from making another attempt, sadly.

That's not really a bad thing.

The Batman terrorizes Gotham city. It would be a good thing if he was killed.

Wouldn't make as good a story, though. And doesn't he just terrorize the criminal element?

No. He terrorizes everyone he comes into contact with. And he's a murderer.

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