breakmychest | Entries tagged with blood is delicious

Been a lot of talk around here about vampires lately. It's time I added my two cents.

[Spike is sitting on the arm of the chair in his room, looking pretty calm. He's thought a little bit about what to say, and... well, he probably won't say anything remotely like what he's got planned, so it's time to start talking.]

Now as a lot of you probably know, I'm a vampire. I've never hid it. Before you start hiding your young and locking your doors with garlic or whatever, you should know, I'm a warden, I'm a hero, and I don't eat people. [He pauses for a moment and frowns.] Also, garlic doesn't work on my sort of vampire, so, you know, waste of time.

But what I am now doesn't change what I've done, and it doesn't change what a vampire is. There's a reason legends paint us as blood sucking monsters. [He shifts his features, letting his fangs slide out and his forehead wrinkle up. He's a lot less pretty this way.] Now, of course, I know the sort of vampire from my world best, and I'm sure there's some dimension where the vampires are sparkly lightweights that only drink dewdrops, but that's the exception. In most dimensions, you'd be hard pressed to find a vampire that hasn't killed before. I've killed before. Never hid that either. Probably killed more than most of the inmates here, seeing as I had over a century to do it. [He shakes his head, human features coming back to the front.]

That's not who I am anymore. Certain girl made me see the world a bit differently. That's a long story that I'm not getting into now, but I went from one of the worst to one of the best. Really, one of only two good ones. [A beat. Spike can't help but be competitive about Angel.] And for the record, I'm loads better than he is. And unlike him I chose this. He was cursed!

So why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Sodding Dracula, probably. Point I'm trying to make is that thinking vampires are evil killers isn't really being bigoted or anything, but like anyone here, they can change. If they want it hard enough. And, of course, they have to acknowledge what they are as well.

[He shrugs and smirks, looking all too pleased with himself.] Then again, maybe not. After all, I am really bloody special.

[It's times like these a filter would come in handy, but give William a break. He's only just managed to master the art of actually using the weird futuristic device. Figuring out privacy settings... a bit beyond him.]

Mr. Paddy? [William looks as polite and earnest as he can.] Thank you very much for the pizza. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

[He glances down, a bit embarrassed.]

The thing is... I'm still hungry. Very hungry, actually. [And not for more pizza. William's not sure what he wants, just that he sometimes catches a whiff of something... delicious and confusing around other people.] The pizza was good, but do you have anything more filling? [He adds hastily.] If you please.

[ooc: Guess what tiny vampire is craving blood? It's unlikely he'll actually attack anyone, or if they do, he'll probably be pretty easy to fend off, but his fangs may come out, which will be... awkward all around.]

Normally it's annoying as hell giving all the new people the tedious "Welcome to the Barge, try not to break anything" speech, but I didn't mind as much this time around. [He's still enjoying having Buffy around. Oh, and Andrew's here too. Which is... better than some people who could have shown up.]

Hello, new people I haven't already spoken to, I'm Spike. Vampire warden, got a soul, won't bite unless you really annoy me... I lied, it's still boring.

[Elphaba]

So, did you do your homework this week, love?

Also, there's someone I'd like you to meet.

[/Elphaba]

[Buffy]

Want to meet my inmate?

[/Buffy]

So, how's your homework been going? Got anything to report to me?

[Spike is full-sized again and very glad to be able abuse his favorite substances without needing an ID he didn't have. And be big enough that half a glass doesn't make him tipsy. Still, the port did teach him some things about his inmate, and it's time to get more active in his wardening.]

[Warden Filter]

How do I get my inmate a job? Does anyone need someone?

[Private to Elphaba]

When you get a chance, come up to my room. We've got to talk.

[There's a smirking vampire on the screen.]

So, we've got another fresh wave of new people. Hullo, new people. I'm Spike, the good guy vampire. Welcome to the Barge. I'd answer any questions you've got, but there are far better people out there to play tour guide. So... good luck with the redeeming and being redeemed stuff. I'm sure you'll all have an incredibly interesting time here.

[Vampire Filter]

As for the new vampire that apparently decided to bite someone, and any other new vampires, if they showed up. There's blood in the kitchen, plenty for everyone. Stick with that, it saves us the trouble of finding you and hauling you down to Zero, or just staking you if you resist too much. Just behave, all right?

There's blood in the third floor corridor. It's also on the lift. Lots of it. Not human, or any of the species I know well. It's been cleaned up, but not well enough to hide from my nose.

Is anyone missing?

[Guess who just reached School Hard in his Buffy rewatch? It was a weird experience. On the bright side, Spike comes off as very cool, and the part where he incinerated the Anointed One, well, he's just bloody badass. There's a small part of him that's flattered at the part where Angel talks about how terrifying an enemy he is. And of course, he and Buffy fight brilliantly together. Even if it's just actors, and it's... bloody weird. He's already decided that watching the commentary and such is more than he can take.

He also isn't crazy about seeing himself kill again. And watching Buffy with Angel, knowing how that'll turn out, seeing things he was clearly never meant to witness. Then there's Drusilla. The former love of his life, back when things were good between the two of them. Her being here is confusing and difficult and he wishes he weren't this affected. But he's always love's bitch, even if he's no longer in love with the woman in question.

God, he misses Buffy.]

So, who's found out they're fictional somewhere? And if you have, did you manage to find it? Did you bother looking? Was it... like your life?

[A pause.]

One of the new inmates, Drusilla, she's from my world. She's bloody insane and incredibly deadly. [It's one of those things he used to love about her.] I think she doesn't have a warden yet, so I guess you can talk to me if she gives you trouble. If anyone can help, it's me. Probably.

As the sanest vampire warden on board, I'm taking charge of the blood distribution process. Now, I need to know if there's anyone who's got ice or can make it or anything like that. I want to keep what we have good as long as possible.

That being said, and I'm really hoping it doesn't come to this, we might run out, and we might need donations. I know other people have asked, but tell me again so I can get a list started. I'm personally planning on holding out as long as I can, which is a while, but I don't want any attacks, and not everyone's me.

Just... anyone who can help. Let me know.

[Filtered to vampires]

All right, kiddies, I need to know how how often you need to feed and any other special requirements. Don't start eating people. My room's 409. Feel free to come visit.

[/vampires]

[Filtered to Elphaba]

Doing all right, pet?

[/Elphaba]