VI - video; The vampire your vampire could smell like.

[breakmychest]

[Spike had not intended to dress up for Halloween. He snidely told anyone who asked that he'd be a vampire and that he didn't care at all about the holiday.

So much for that plan.

Spike stands in the bathroom clad in only a towel, smiling seductively.]

Hello, ladies.

Look at your man, now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me.

Sadly, he is not me, but if he stopped using lady scented body washes and switched to Old Spice...

[He lifts the bottle of Old Spice body wash and smiles.]

He could smell like me.

[He smiles, holding a monocle up to one eye.]

Monocle smile.



[ooc: Spike's been turned into the Old Spice Man. This is clearly not an excuse to use all the shirtless icons I have, that would be ridiculous.]

Comments

MY LUNGS. HURT. FROM LAUGHING.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

...Your broadcast is very much repelling.

[vfranklinmott.livejournal.com]

... [Smelling like dead people is SEXY :| ] People are replacing their faces these days. Why not a smell?

I COULDN'T RESIST.

[bigbad]

Rappelling down mountains is one of the ways I keep these rippling abs so well-formed.

[bigbad]

A manly man smell like Old Spice can make all the difference in your life.

[vfranklinmott.livejournal.com]

Believe me. My clients would not care.

THAT IS NOT A BAD THING.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

Let's, uh. Let's not delve into your exercise schedule.

[bigbad]

Do your clients like lady-scented men?

[vfranklinmott.livejournal.com]

I smell like the grave. I hear no complaints.

Video.

[toldastory]

...did you forget to get dressed? I can only find grown up clothes here, so I need to wear my jim-jams!

[And seven-year-old Martha held up one pj footed foot!]

[timesbureaucrat]

O.O

[considers switching to Old Spice]

I'M JUST TOO AMUSED.

[bigbad]

Are you sure? It's quite impressive. You don't get to be as manly and well-built as I do without lots of exercise. And, of course, Old Spice. For that manly scent ladies can't resist.

[bigbad]

You may hear no complaints, but I hear compliments.

Video.

[bigbad]

I am so manly that every shirt I put on automatically rips.

[beat.]

When you're older, you'll understand.

[bigbad]

[Flexes. Sexily.]

[goodgrasshopper]

"Old spice" doesn't exactly sound like it would be an appreciated aroma.

[bigbad]

Look down. Look up. What's in my hand?

[Holds up a clam.]

It's two tickets to that thing you love.

[goodgrasshopper]

[Glinda finds herself doing what he asked.]

Wizomania?

[bigbad]

[He smiles and nods.] Look down. Look up. The tickets are now diamonds.

[...except they're fake diamonds.]

Anything is possible when you use Old Spice.

[goodgrasshopper]

[Stomps foot] Stop doing that, I keep doing what you say!

[bigbad]

Such is the power of Old Spice. Tell your man to buy it.

[yeehawkiller.livejournal.com]

Aren't you a little pale to have your shirt off in public?

[Video.] - ohmyjesus, how I love you right now, lmao

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

I think Jim used Old Spice once before he took off for Hawaii. Can't say I can vouch for your advertising thing there, but it was certainly a good try and convincing.

[bigbad]

[Spike looks puzzled for a moment, then smiles.]

Paleness is nothing in comparison to the smell of manliness and success.

[Video.] - Ahahaha /bows

[bigbad]

Old Spice: It helps manly men win arguments.

[yeehawkiller.livejournal.com]

It's also a sign of staying inside all day, in the bathroom and talking about manliness instead of actually being a man.

[LIKE HIM. A REAL MAN. A MARINE]

[bigbad]

I go out during the day frequently to climb mountains and swan dive off waterfalls and ride horses backwards.

[Obviously.]

[yeehawkiller.livejournal.com]

[Boner]

Really?!

[bigbad]

I didn't get this fantastically muscular body by staying inside all day, in the bathroom and talking about manliness instead of actually being a man. I got it from a strict diet of salad and large steaks, plus a strict exercise regime of lifting weights and rescuing babies from oncoming traffic.

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

Sir! Do clothe yourself, that is most improper!

couldn't resist this, either.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Body wash?

A true man need not smell of any spice! Only of the sweat of his own endeavour and the blood of those he has slain in defence of his king and his family.

[Macduff. Is very. Manly. And wears a skirt. Real men wear kilts.]

[bigbad]

Unfortunately, I have a condition that doesn't allow me to wear a shirt. It's called extreme manliness.

Bwahahaha

[bigbad]

[Spike shakes his head.] A real man builds his woman a house with his own two hands, then takes her for a picnic. On a boat. While smelling like an Old Spice Man.

video - macduff has found the function.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[Video is switched on, and there's a massive man, weilding a sword as big as him, in a kilt, raising an eyebrow at you.]

I'm fairly sure scent isn't the measure of a man.

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

I do not find this proper of a gentleman, sir!

[Video.]

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Brows raised, amused.]

Do you always interact with strangers in such an exposing manner?

video until otherwise specified.

[bigbad]

No, but it is 84% of what a lady notices when she's measuring a man.

[bigbad]

[He gives a seductive smile.]

You really want to cover up... [He gestures at his chest.] ...this? Think carefully.

[Video.]

[bigbad]

Yes, I do.

video still. :D

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Notices and probably dismisses him as a boy, forced to display his supposed masculinity through some form of soap.

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

[Long, long pause.]

I think it not proper to display to all and sundry, that is all, sir. [It is... quite nice.]

Video.

[toldastory]

You know, grown ups always say that when they don't wanna explain. It's not fair.

[bigbad]

My masculinity does not come from soap, but it can allow men that don't regularly dive into the ocean out of an airplane to feel more manly. I understand that it's simply impossible for most men to reach that level. But at least they can smell like they can.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I do not smell like... whatever you describe, but my masculinity is never a matter of question.

[He is... a man in a skirt, though.]

[Video.]

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Oh, well then... [blinks.] As you were.